Misery loves company :)

I just talked to a good friend of mine, a person in my PA program. She just had her first day of Urgent Care work; she started a little late because she had a baby our last year. She was freakin' out - understandably. I got to listen to her talk about her day, we laughed together, she "vented", and I shared some of my learning curve thus far. It was really nice :) It's really nice to connect with someone that just KNOWS what you are going through, isn't it?

I love that God puts people in our lives, our friends, with whom we can talk...and they "get it". I love walking people through things that I have been through or am still going through myself. It is a joy to be a comfort to someone, and to encourage them, and to love them. THAT is life giving. I pray that God would continually mold my life so that I can befriend or be-a-friend to others around me. I pray he would help each of us to see that we can truly count it all joy knowing that our present sufferings/life situations/circumstances are being used for things far greater than ourselves....and that we are earning that eternal weight of glory, and that we get to share in the JOY of loving others as they walk too. To the many dear and special friends I have: Thank You for walking with me...may your Joy be complete...

...may our cups overflow :)

Love, Kristie

making it all worth it!

So, last week I had to admit a patient to the hospital for some dangerously low blood levels. The patient had been having some associated symptoms due to the abnormal labs for quite awhile. It was sort of an intimidating process: how do you Admit someone? Do they really need to be admitted? Who do I talk to about it? Anyhoo, the physicians there were able to find the source of the abnormal labs and he was later discharged with a good plan to treat/prevent problems.

Now fast forward to today for the patient follow up visit. The patient looks like an entirely different person, and they say to me, "The doctors said you saved my life by admitting me! I could have had x,y,and z complication. I didn't even know what was going on!"

Let me tell you, that is a rewarding experience! In addition, it was a great learning case. So often in medicine you feel like you don't solve anything, at least not promptly, but this was one for the books :)

It makes me briefly think about how good it makes the Lord feels when we come back to him and say, "Wow, thank you Lord. You saved my life! I didn't even know how bad I needed it!" May we be forever grateful!

Love, Kristie

My friend Ann

So today I met my dear friend Ann Snobeck Lopez and her cutie-pie baby boy for a coffee in Arden Hills on my half-day. On a side note, I haven't been to this part of town in a LONG while, and not this Caribou since I stopped working at Medtronic 4 years ago. Weird.

Ann was my freshman roommate at Bethel and boy did we have some funny stories. Ann has always been a faithful friend even though we rarely see each other any more (she lives in Canada...I mean Blaine!). It is one of those friendships where you can catch up at any point and really feel like you have missed nothing.

She is someone I highly respect and admire because she is strong, happy, and she is beautiful. She is such a God-fearing and God-trusting woman. She is real and she is kind. She is positive and she is content to be wherever God has placed her. She is complimentary of her husband and she loves marriage. She also loves being a mom. Of course to any that knows Ann this is NO SURPRISE. She was an elementary Education major in college and I always knew she would be just a most excellent wife, mom, and teacher, which she is. Ann is good at expressing love and she is generous with her time towards others, well as much time as a new mom can give :)

So, I was blessed to meet with Ann today. I was inspired to be positive in my words, to be thankful for what you have, and to be a faithful friend no matter what!

Love ya girl!

Single?

So, I have to admit, I have done something I thought I would never do/be. I have seen in myself something that I never had patience or grace for before in other women. While Caleb is in Toronto for the week (he left today), I realized already this morning that I don't know what to do with myself without him around.

When I wasn't dating Caleb I studied, or read, or blogged, or babysat, or ran, or did things for other people. I had a very full life. But, that life was on my own terms and timeline. I did what felt good and right for the day because I could, which is one of the true luxuries of singleness. But I have found as a female, and maybe it's just me, that dating/being engaged seems to mean merging my life INTO Caleb's world. Yes, I bring all of me with me, but I also leave somethings behind. There is something instinctive in me that wants to make him happy and make his life better. Whether this is healthy or not, I find it is pretty easy to sort of give up the things I used to do. I don't know if that's because my role is shifting from everyone else to more of one person, or that there is just not time to be/do what I used to do. Don't get me wrong, mentally deciding to leave thigns behind is different than emotionally leaving them behind. What I see is that although that is my heart's desire, there is also a part of me that wants to "do my own thing" and have the things in my life that make me who I am. There is obviously nothing wrong with that - to a degree. I am just not sure what that is supposed to look like I guess.

Auntie Myrna's words, "it's not a you, or a me, but a WE...you have to find what works for you and Caleb and the Lord..." keep echoing through my head. So, i don't know what the balance is right now, but I am pretty sure I am out of it when i can't remember what to do by myself. Now, this is also not to say Caleb is demanding my time...he is just a "companion" sort of guy, and i happen to work a lot, and I live with my folks. The only alone time i really have is my commute in the car, and the precious minutes before bedtime and before running out the door. Maybe this is just to help me not get too comfortable with solitude and time of reflection before getting married and having kids!!!!

So, maybe my week of singleness will be a chance to evaluate and reset my time and boundaries. Maybe I will stay just as busy as before, but maybe you could pray the lord would speak to me and help guide me in how to "do" this transition of roles and expectations. maybe you could pray I would seek to please the Lord above seeking to please everyone else. For I really need the Lord, and I need his presence and nurturing in my life more than others.

Hosea 6 says "Let us know, let us press on to KNOW the Lord; His going out is sure ashte dawn; He will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth." He is the restorative factor in my life, but I must press into him and KNOW him, as in a covenent way of knowing someone...like in the covenent of marriage and that intimacy. He want me to intimately know him as a groom his bride, for only He will satisfy.

Holy patients!

I have officially been practicing medicine independently for the past 4 weeks up in North St. Paul. I have REALLY enjoyed my time there thus far; I work with great staff, doctors, and I have great patients. It has gone by quickly and it is amazing how I have jumped from seeing 5-7 patients a day to 18 patients a day. There is much more to being a medical professional however. There are patient phone calls to return, lab results to interpret and communicate to others about, there are imaging study results coming in over fax. There are also medication refills to do, and don't forget the basics of just completing all the notes. But, it is fun, really fun.

My patients are usually pretty interesting, and I have enjoyed getting to know them, take care of their medical needs, and figure out how to get out of room quickly after too long a visit. I have also learned how easy it is to get behind with just one visit going aray. For example, a patient comes in for a cough, and then they have a fever and need an chest x-ray, and by the way their blood pressure is uncontrolled and they might have difficulty urinating...all of a sudden that 15 minute visit turns into 45 minutes. I would thus encourage you to find out how long your visits are actually scheduled for so you don't bring the laundry list for a 15 minute appointment. It's a hard one, Caleb is concerned that patients should get all the care they need in one visit, unfortunately, that's how medicine works :) or doesn't :)

I have seen everything from bruising, to sinus infections, to broken bones, to diabetes care and thyroid disorders, to follow up hospital admission patients, to old ladies and little newborns. It can take 5 minutes, or like today, 1 hour for a sensitive topic discussion with a frustrated patient. I feel prepared most days, but then i have days when i wish i knew more - but apparently that is normal. It's amazing how all that training just comes together.

One thing that has been hard is balancing time when you work 55-60 hours a week (with a commute). It's a challenge to do wedding planning, church involvement, see the family, try to maintain some friendships, and give Caleb a little attention ;) It is challenging to get decent devotions in before going to work and that really bugs me. So, if you remember you can always pray for that. Pray for grace as I plow through many significant transitions with some major responsibilities right now. Caleb and I have enjoyed wedding planning though, well, mostly. He has been a fantastic support only once having to ask for a non-wedding talk night. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO blessed with his care, protection, love, attention, and prayer. He is so great.

So, there you go....that's a long/bried update. I will keep things more updated after we get the flowers, dj, photographer and bridesmaid dresses picked out. Thanks for the Love! It's quite a journey, what a good God we have.

Oh so classic!!!!

Well folks, another "Kristie-ism" occurred today. It was my first day seeing patients all by myself at the family practice where I work. I had been shadowing for the past 2 weeks and was ready to start trying on my own. Well, turns out I didn't sleep too well the night before - classic. Then, I decided to pull together some stuff to bring at the last minute, which made me run behind - classic. Then I burnt my waffle in the waffle-maker since i was running around crazy - classic. I was carrying too many bags, wearing high-heels (they're Merrels - luv'em!), running down the sidewalk, which happens to be a slight decline....and all-of-a-sudden my R ankle gave out! My right ankle completely rolled to the ground and back up again - classic. I panicked, hands full of bags, not sure what to do! This CANNOT be happening on my first day seeing patients - only this would happen to me!

Would I have to cancel patients, walk around with crutches, be just fine? I grit my teeth and hobbled to the car - determined to not be late and just hope for the best. Oooh, it hurt so bad I just prayed in desperation "Lord, make it better!!!". I threw everything haphazardly into the front seat, and slumped into my seat, trying very hard not to move my right foot - which also happens to be the driving foot. By this time, I took my shoe off, grit my teeth again and tried driving. Let's just say putting on the brakes didn't feel too good. I made it to the freeway, calling caleb along the way. He apparently didn't realize, not to his fault, how much pain I was in because he kept talking about some project he was working on. When my responses turned to grimace-filled "uh huhs" he stopped and asked, "are you really in pain?". Yes! Oh, bless his heart :)

I made it to work with sharp pains going through my ankle, but really, at least it wasn't as bad as two years ago when my dad had to pick me up mid-running route and drive me home. I hobbled into the clinic, high-heeled Merrels and all, and saw my whopping 3 patients for the morning (they start you slow). I hobbled to my desk, worked awhile, and managed to drive relatively pain-free to david's bridal, Bethany Darlings, and meet with a lady at the Ramada about receptions in my classic non-stop pace. It wasn't until I took off my stockings and dress shoes that the morning's event really started to show it's color. Hmmm, I guess you could say it turned puffy and swollen. True to his prior bachelor status, Caleb had no ice packs in the freezer. So I wrapped my ankle in frozen broccoli and snapped peas. It now hurts more, is more swollen, and pressure on it is no good.

But, you know, for some reason the ankle did well today, and we can pray for great healing tomorrow. Oh, life's little adventures can really throw you into a negative spiral, or by God's grace He can help you laugh and offer encouragement through His spirit. Please pray that I would heal a little faster than the classic-Kristie pace, and that I would obediently ice, elevate, rest, and compress :) That will take a miracle!

Out of the Bag!

Well, I think it is safe to say it finally outloud on the internet....I apologize if this is your first exposure...I tried.

Caleb and I at the lake home the Big Night! My dad suspected something was "up", but deduced that Caleb was dressed too casual to be proposing....but dad thought he looked nervous when he picked me up on the way down. Ironically, I innocently teased caleb while pulling up to the lake home, "Caleb, your hands are sweaty, are you nervous or something?!"

Caleb's dad Galeb, Caleb, me, Mr/Mrs. Holland (short lady in front!), and Caleb's Mom Sara

What I thought seemed a little formal for "family dinner"! What a nerd - so clueless!

Again, it took me a minute to realize this was no "dinner with the parents and friends" event. I started to laugh once I finally clued-in!

This is me, too embarassed to kiss Caleb in front of his parents - still a little awkward with that one :) Oh well - he is trying to break me down :)

There are more pics with my family, but they are not on my computer yet - it's been busy!

I am the most blessed woman in the world - I am so excited to marry Caleb! What a guy, what a story, what a Savior!

"The Lord has done great things for Us, and we are filled with Joy!"

Psalm 126:9

An extravagent giver?

Recently the Lord has been teaching me something. It hasn't come all at once, and in fact, I didn't really put the pieces together until just recently. I have a hard time receiving people's words towards me, invited or uninvited, when they aren't delivered in a way I like. I have become sensitive to that lately, and on more than one occasion, have felt frustration (anger) in those situations. There is this part of me that wants to defend myself, or justify not receiving people's words because it wasn't done nicely or gently. This is this other part of me that knows that it doesn't matter how another communicates with me and you still need to weigh their words. But you know, that's hard. It's hard because I am prideful and I don't like being told what to do. I must somewhere feel entitled to be treated a certain way by friends and acquaintences.

What the Holy Spirit is reminding me of lately is that, yes, you need to communicate through conflict. He is also teaching me that I need to lay down my pride and "rights" to have people treat me how I think I should be treated or communicated with. After all, what I really deserve is Christ's death, and what He really has given me is far better than I deserve. I don't always treat or communicate with God in a kind and gracious way. I don't always communicate with others in a kind and gracious way. Because of Christ though, I have the power to extend grace - something that is sometimes so contrary to my flesh! Because of Christ death and resurrection I have access to unending grace and infinite access to the power of the Holy Spirit to defeat the fleshly tendencies in me that don't reflect God's grace towards me.

As I struggle to realize this in my own heart, and I look at areas in my heart that are full of pride, I pray for more grace to be an extravagent giver of grace. What is so amazing that even on my "best day" of practicing fighting the pride in me by extending grace and humbling myself before others, that is only a droplet in the bucket of grace that God has extended to me. Praise God!

Meet the Family?

Although it mostly just dangerous to advertise your personal life over the internet I feel comfortable and excited to say that Caleb and I are back together. We dated for nine months last year, had a 5 month hiatus (over which the last 10 weeks we had no communication), and are now officially & intentionally pursuing a relationship. Crazy! I remember telling my parents more than once that "It would just be a MIRACLE of God to get back together!" And, you know, it has been. It has actually happened fast considering our first face-to-face meeting in many months was just May 13th.

I thought I learned a lot over the past 5 months, but it turns out I am learning even more over the last 5 weeks. We have had a few obstacles come our way, as well as many conversations about the past, the present, and the future. We have been learning to navigate life more with a "we" mentality rather then a "you" or "me" mindset (although I am sure I am just discovering the tip of the iceberg on learning to be selfless). God has just given us a precious time to re-get-to-know one another under less stressful life situations. Although not without growing pains, it has been such a joy to be together and grow in our faith together. It is just amazing to see how God used our time apart to mold us into who He wanted us to be together. As Caleb says, "He just accelerated the growth!"

I am repeatedly amazed how good/kind/patient/prayerful/loving/considerate/calm/persistent/generous Caleb is to me and how such a great fit he is for me & I for him! There is SO MUCH GRACE in his life.

Turns out Caleb and I are sort of big nerds (BIG SUPRISE!) and don't have a "group" of people we both individually hang out with outside our small groups. We have a lot more one-on-one, long-term friendships (me more than Caleb). So, it's been weird who to know to bring around, and besides, we just like hanging out and do life together by ourselves too. All that to say, Caleb has only met two of the Kunnari Klan extended family. Well folks, he is about to dive in head first at a family wedding this weekend...all 60+ Kunnari's at once :) It will be fun! Plus I get to wear a new dress - whoo-hoo!!!!

So, if you like, you can be praying for God's clear direction and voice in our relationship, as well as our own individual lives as we move forward in His sovereign will.

Life Updates

It can finally be said: I have my first job as a Physician Assistant! My MIA blog status reflects the busyness of thoughts, interviews, negotiating, worrying (yes, I still struggle with worrying), praying, shadowing, talking with recruiters, talking with family, talking with other PAs, and talking with a few friends. It just turned into an all-consuming process. I couldn't analyze well enough; I couldn't account for all possible future plans well enough. I had to drag along offers until other ones were more solidified; I had to negotiate pay scales while shadowing at other clinics to really see if I would like it there. It was crazy- I probably ran 100 miles in my head. There were three job offers on the table:

1. An inner-city county clinic. 32 patient contact hours a week. wants me to work at least one week night or a saturday morning each week. schedule changes every 4 weeks. inner-city patients. family practice + urgent care (!). close to home. Pay is fair. mentored by lots of brilliant doctors. more chaotic but rewarding.
2. Outer-ring suburb private practice clinic. 36 patient contact hours + 1/2 day for adminstrative time (!). stable working schedule. working poor and middle class patients. probably not a diverse patient population, but lots of older patients with complex conditions. 25 minute drive. Pay is better with additional earning potential. small town clinic feel. great staff. calm environment
3. Minneapolis private practice. 40 patient contact hours. no admin time. stable schedule. no nights/weekends. 7 minutes from home. diverse patient population. pay is just OK but would be working within my own community.

Things culminated Thursday night while driving to talk one-on-one with a local clinic about the offer they were proposing. I just couldn't decide which pros were better than other pros and which cons were worse than other cons. The last complicating factor was that my ex-boyfriend and I had been pursuing conversations about getting back together, and that has been a lot of time. All-of-a-sudden I am trying to think about making job decisions based off that fact that we might even get married and what sort of job/location/hours/environment would be best for that. But, while driving the Lord just broke through and reminded me of my need for Him in all this. I mean, I had been praying about things, but probably moreso "thinking" rather than praying about them. I just prayed outloud in the car while driving on 494, "Lord, I need you. I SO need you. I cannot do this. I DON'T know how to make this decision. I don't know the future. I want to honor you, be consumed by you, live for you, worship you, trust you above all things. I confess my self-sufficiency and independence and pride trying to make this decision without more inquiry of your will. Thank you for your grace and forgiveness!"


After that, I met with the doctor, drove home, and decided to take a different job. The Lord just made it simple, "Kristie, you need a calm emvironement to work in. You need somewhere where it is easy to go to work and be at work because you have a lot of learning to do and potential changes coming up in your life this year. Trust me."

So, I chose option #2. It is calmer. I think the doctors will be good mentors. God will help me use the drive to meet Him in some way or I can catch up with a friend. I don't know what the future holds, but God does. We will give it a try. We walk by Faith, not by Sight.

distractions

Since i have been off school i have noticed I am more distracted or delayed in getting to my morning devotions. It's like the lack of schedule makes it easy to delay, or my decreased awareness of my need, or something. Whatever it is I don't like it. I want to hunger to be with the Lord and be eager to make it the first thing of the day. Doing this just gets things off to a good start!

So this morning, and just plain recently, the distraction was awaiting a job offer (counter-offer) to come over email or phone. I was trying to read, but I kept thinking about things. It might be because I am also reading jeremiah, which is a challenging book to read, and not super exciting or understandable. Nevertheless, the job offer did come through, and it was good. So, now I have to decide if I want to stick with this or risk waiting for HCMC to get back to me on an interview I had on Friday. They will let me know more by Friday, but I have to then delay the North St. Paul one until then. Oh goodness. It's hard to decide sometimes.

Anyhoo, that's what is distracting me these days.

Lord, help my mind to be wrapped up in you. Help my heart to trust you for all things, knowing that your sovereign will shall prevail. Help me to not covet earthly treasures and paying off my loans more than serving where you want me to serve. Help me to focus and be focused by your spirit. Help me to be productive in my time off and use it for your glory! Amen.

Parenting

Tonight I babysat for one of my most favorite families: the Cottrells! I love babysitting for their 4 kiddos because I have been with them for almost 4 years at our church and it is absolutely a joy to watch them grow up. Keaton wasn't even a sparkle in his parents eyes when I first met them, and now he is 2/nearly 2?!

Anyhoo, babysitting always reminds me of much I have to learn about parenting. How do you get a tired 4 yr old to eat their dinner? Do you treat them like their older siblings or how much grace do you extend? If they don't have a regenerate heart aka: aren't saved, then can I expect them to really be motivated by "obedience, which pleases God"? When are you tough, when are you compassionate and gracious, when do you give in, when do you discipline? How much attention do you give one child while there are 3 others there? When do you know if their tummy hearts or they are tired or crabby or just plain stubborn?

But, in spite of this scary reminder of my total ineptness at multi-child parenting, I am also reminded of how great it is to be with kids! We practiced rollerblading, and sharing our toys, and obeying the first time when asked, and using good manners, and talking kindly with one another. We also talked about how boys are "weird", but not totally weird because they are "helpful". We talked about how great it is to be a girl, in which one child pointed out girls got the plus of getting to have babies. They talked about all the things guys do to help us, including in full biblical style the words, "they get to lead us"...after which I reminded them that it is also their role to "follow"...it takes two to tango folks!

The night was not complete without a walk to the park up and down a number of hills (2 girls rollerblading, one little one pushing her babydoll in her stroller, and one kiddo in the stroller himself), fighting over who got to wear my rollerblading wrist guards and deciding who would push the button for the garage door opener, a duet/solo piano recital, coloring time, ice cream, song-singing-partial-movie-watching, and story-reading just as mom/dad were coming in the door. Ooops, they were 20 minutes late for bed! The night was topped off with a "speech" from the oldest daughter who told me in her speech she loved me, and then came over afterwards and said, "I really meant it; i love you." I even got some homemade artwork for my bedroom to prove it. Ahhh, the good life. I can't think of another way I would have wanted to spend my Friday night.

The Word

One thing God has done in my heart over the last few months is really really helped me to get in God's Word regularily. Albeit, some of the times it is because I am desperatly searching for some answer in life or solace amidst heartache. Nevertheless, it gets me in His presence and the Holy Spirit helps illuminate something to my mind and heart. You can probably tell when there is something more pressing because I write a long diatribe about something. But honestly folks, it is because I feel COMPELLED to write something about Him or some lesson. I can't stop myself sometimes. I probably get a little smothering in those times, but that's what comes with a passionate person :)

One of the reasons I am in the Word is because I NEED it so much. I need it's redirecting truths. I need the hope of its promises. I need the reminders of grace and the gospel. I need something to be excited about. I need God to satisfy my deepest parts...and it really only comes from the Word. I am so thankful that God foresaw all this when He wrote the Word and breathed His Holy Spirit into it. I am thankful for my need for it. I am so inept at understanding it at times, or I totally miss apply it at times too, and there are days I don't feel like writing a blog-entry because of it.

I just want to encourage you to return to your first love. Pray for desire to be in the Word and for a sense of awareness of your need for it...all that is just a gift from Him that He gives us. We don't manufacture desire to be with Him. I pray He gives that desire multiple times in the day; I pray that for myself mostly. I am so quick to be satisfied with other things and people, but I soon remember that they are only broken cisterns. We need the Living Water to sustain us ~ especially all you at home moms!!!! I don't know how you do it?! AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kristie A. Kunnari, PA-C

I would just like to say: I PASSED MY BOARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only did I pass them, but I got the exact score I get on all my exams; it was good!

I am so thankful, thankful, thankful to jesus for carrying me through this crazy journey. I am so thankful to my amazing family (extended family, church family) for all their support and care throught out this incredible journey. It is SO nice to see the resolution of something that has stretched me beyond belief. Believe me, there were many days when I thought I would not make it, but God's loving heart and strong arm have done it all...Oh man, it is well with my soul!

Matthew Eric Kunnari

By the way, I would just like to say I have the coolest brother ever, and if he lived closer that would be great! Love you matt! Have fun in Paris without me ;) We need an Anodyne-date soon.

All done, for real!

Well, I took my test on Tuesday. It took me longer than I expected, and it didn't feel exceptionally great going through it, BUT, it is done. As I finished up the last block of 60 questions I remember thinking, "well, this is it. What is done is already done." I then answered the last one and just hit the SUBMIT button. Poof! Testing is done! I won't find out the results for a couple of weeks, which is fine since it is nice to sort of put it past you for awhile.

The rest of the day was a little fuzzy. I talked to a few friends, and my family, but otherwise I was fairly mellow. It took me the entire rest of the day to unwind and get more excited about the whole thing. But, God is gracious, and I ended up having a nice night with my parents watching mystery shows on TV and eating frozen pizza - the best food ever! I was exhausted when i finally went to bed around 10:30pm.

This morning I went to shadow at a clinic I am considering for employment. It was a good experience. THe best thing though was that when I got there they had already ordered a white coat for me with my full name and title embroidered on it. It was awesome! All that just for a job candidate! What impressed me the most is that they had it done in one day when we had only decided I would stop by this past Monday. Kuddos Kuddos to them :)

So, we wait, and wait, and hem & haw. Then we decide. Then we live with our decisions until the Lord brings life to a crossing again. Faithful is He who calls you and faithful is He who will come it to pass.

pray today

well, my last test is tomorrow/today aka: TUESDAY from 8am-2pm. Pray for smarts please and focus and clarity.

Thanks!
Kristie

Hit the Re-set button!

This past winter I went through a bible-study that focused on personal revival. One of the first verses we memorized was Hosea 10:12 (or 12:10 - shoot!). Anyhoo, it says, "Break up your fallow ground for it is time to seek the Lord until He rains His righteousness on you." Now, let me tell you, there has been some serious ground-tilling/fallowing done over the past months. God pretty much stopped me in my tracks, gave me a good shaking, and maybe now is setting my feet down on the ground again. Sort of like, "There you go, much better, just had to get some wrinkles out." So good....but OUCH!

Hopefully I am not premature in saying this, but I think that God is beginning to "rain down" a little. I am almost afraid to say that outloud.

I don't know exactly what the "rain of His righteousness" necessarily is to its full extent, but I am tasting just a bit of it. Well I think I am. God has finally brought to a close this long season of PA school. He has brought the Springtime. He brought graduation. He has been growing in me strength and dignity, grace and patience, clarity of thought and direction for life. He has helped purify my will and my desires. To a greater extent than before He has quieted my soul before Him - hey, now that's what I call progress!

I am still full of emotion, fighting the faith battle, learning to be content in Him, letting Him alone saitsfy my heart, and awaiting the settling of the dust. And, you know what, however it settles, I am A-okay with that. I am ready to start-over, or at least start something!

I think Chuck Swindoll said it just right this morning on Insight for Living:

"To start over, you have to know where you are. To get somewhere else, it's necessary to know where you're presently standing. That's true in a department store or a big church, on a freeway or a college campus . . . or in life, for that matter. Very, very seldom does anybody "just happen" to end up on the right road. The process involved in redirecting our lives is often painful, slow, and even confusing. Occasionally, it seems unbearable.

...here enter a long thought on Jonah's transformation....

Changing directions requires knowing where you are. It necessitates taking time to honestly admit your present condition. It means facing the music, standing alone inside the fish and coming to terms with those things that need attention, fishing in the seaweed for a match. Before you find your way out, you must determine where you are. Exactly. Once that is accomplished, you're ready to start over."

Pictures - lots of them!

I have been trying to post pictures on this thing for two days, but my parents' internet connection is just not cutting it. So hopefully these will post now.

Please read the entry below for the reflections :)

Graduation

I finally graduated this past Saturday May 2nd. It was a beautiful, beautiful day with lots of rejoicing and cheers from students, professors, and family! My wonderful god-mothers were both there: Auntiy Myrna and Auntie Di. Thank goodness for that Lutheran baptism with the assignment of godparents - I would be lost :)

I was very very thankful, and I still am. I must say that half the reason I didn't write more excitedly was probably because I was so ready to move on. So, nevertheless, I was very, very, thankful. A LOT of people have been praying me through this adventure for the past 3 years, and honestly, these last 5 months have been by far the most difficult for me personally. It is truly truly God's grace that got me through this last stretch, and I feel so very blessed to have been carried on His wings. I am so very ready for the "next thing" although I have not a clue what that will entail besides a job at some point and somehow and in some context moving out. I still CANNOT believe this chapter has ended and "poof!" a new one is beginning. Only the Lord knows what is next!

Of the many things I have learned the top ones that stand out are:
- take life, and any particular challenge, one day at a time (maybe two!)
- "wherever you are, be fully there" - Jim Elliot
- Commit your ways to the lord and HE WILL give you the desire of your heart - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, but in ALL YOUR WAYS acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths
- His grace is sufficient
- There is nothing like a thankfulness journal to help change your attitude
- If you think you can't get through something, just look to Jesus, for what He ordains, He sustains.
- Faithful is He who calls you
- God will use anything and everything to bring you to your knees before His cross.
- Sometimes you just have to "Trust the process"
- The Word is your very life
- Friends are very necessary in life

Done

I am officially done with PA school at Augsburg College!

Thanks for all the prayers!

Love, Kristie

The Lord's Mercy Remembered: Isaiah 63:7

I will recount the steadfast love of the Lord,the praises of the Lord, according to all that the Lord has granted us,and the great goodness to the house of Israel that he has granted them according to his compassion, according to the abundance of his steadfast love.

He Giveth More Grace – Annie Flint – James 4:6

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done;
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing,
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure;
His power no boundary known unto men.
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

Now or Never

Well, I had my official moment of "I don't have enough time left!". But, now that that is over and the truth of that statement has sunk-in we just move more towards prayer :)

So, if you read this, please pray for me and my 22 other classmates as we take our exams the next 2 days (Tuesday & Wednesday!). We have all worked very hard over the past 3 years and nobody wants to go down in flames! You can pray after the test too when the profs are grading them...that they wouldn't be in a crabby mood. Our saving grace is they keep telling us they don't want to see us around anymore so they WANT us to pass and GRADUATE!

Graduate?! I can't believe it, and yet it seems so incredibly natural because God has just carried things one day at a time for three years. But, I do plan on celebrating, so if anyone is up for drinks in the next week you just let me know :)

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Bless the lord, oh my soul, and all that is in within me bless His holy name.
Bless the lord, oh my soul, and forget not one of His benefits:
He forgive all your sins.
He heals you from all your diseases.
He restores your life from the pit and crowns you with mercy and loving-kindness.
He satisfies your desires with good things that your youth shall be renewed like the eagles....

(skipping some verses here)

As high as the heavens are above the earth so GREAT is His lovingkindness towards us. As far as the east is from the west so FAR has He removed our transgressions from us.

As a Father has compassion on his children so does our Father have compassion on us. For He himself knows our frames and He is mindful that we are but dust...

But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting towards those who fear Him.

....and lastly,

In Christ alone, my hope is found; He is my light, my strength, my song. This cornerstone, this solid ground, firm through the fiercest trial and storm. What heights of love! What depths of peace! When fears are stilled and strivings cease! My Comforter, my all in all, here in the LOVE of Christ I stand.


Thanks in advance for interceding on my behalf!

"Now I lay me down to sleep..."

I am supposed to be studying right now, but sometimes when I look too long at the computer (taking online tests, reading notes, researching a topic, quizzing, making charts, etc.) I notice that my vision gets blurry and I get red eyes. Gross.

So I will make a list of what I need to study for tomorrow:
- EKGs, EKGs, EKGs,
- Chest xrays/radiographs
- medicine list with generic and trade names
- dermatology slides
- treatment algorithms for cardiac arrest and other cardiac emergencies
- causes and treatments of arrhythmias
- asthma guidelines
- patient education lists
- physical exams in general
- a few more practice tests if possible
- review surgical tool recognition again
- review lab values one more time (especially iron studies and liver function test normal ranges)
- ummm, I am sure this is more :)

Oh yeah, the Bible.

Let me tell you. I would be lost without the Word of God to encourage and nourish my soul when I rise and lay down. I am reading a slightly dry portion of Isaiah right now, but it never ceases to amaze me how God always using some particular verse at some point to speak to me. Somedays if I did not have the Word to fall back on amidst this chaotic/challenging/crazy season of life I would have given up or been even more crabby then I sometimes can be. "It if were not for His grace...." really should mark our thoughts and heart attitudes.

Isn't it nice to know we can just go to sleep in His care? I read this quote once in Elisabeth Elliot's book "keeping a quiet heart" (btw, all time favorite and challenging book!).

"God charges His angels over those who are sleeping; but He himself keeps watch over the sleepless one."

I don't say that to say it's a good thing to stay up worrying or crying or what have you; I am just saying that God is our Great Comforter - oh the pun there is too good!

So, may you rest in His loving care having had your soul calmed and cared for by His Word.

5 - depending if you count today

Five more days until Augsburg exams are done.

Eight more days until graduation.

Twenty-one more days until national boards.

wow.

oh yah

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and thanksgiving, present your requests to God; and the peace that passes all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Freak out time

Okay, I am not freaking-out about school - now that's a miracle!

I read Becca Pateneude's posting about technology updates in their house and I literally started to feel this pit of anxiety rise up in my stomach. I don't really remember how to function in the non-school world. I don't have a lot of interests outside that which makes life functional, and I have sort of morphed into an intense person. I don't know anything about technology or baking organic bread or knitting. My idea of a manageable transition back to non-school life was growing a small herb garden!

What if I can't relax? Is it okay to relax?

What's my new purpose? Where's my new purpose? Does it really matter? I think it matters to a person like me. What if I can't adjust? I will drive my friends nuts.

Will I be lonely without studying to occupy my mind and heart?

What do I like to do for fun? How do you find balance between taking life seriously, not wanting to waste a minute of it, and realizing we are just passing through?

I used to make Caleb tell me all the things I could do or would enjoy on the weekend when I was done with school because I would sort of panic at the idea of not knowing what to do with myself.

My oh my.

"Now, now..." someone would say to me.

Okay. Time to stop the thought-train here. It's time to leave the library and just trust the Lord because I really don't like change that much.

It's just another turn of the page in the book of life. We only get one day at a time, right? Praise the Lord!

foot in mouth

I just have to say that almost everytime I post something about what God has been teaching me, or at least puts on my heart to say outloud, it ALMOST ALWAYS comes around to bite me later. If I write about staying focused then I get distracted with the world. If I write about treasuring Christ above all things, then something usually happens that reveals an area where I am not treasuring Christ. If I write about fully obeying the Lord I no doubt will struggle shortly with something in regards to obedience. If I write about exercising spiritual muscles of faith God usually reveals in me areas where I am not exercising faith. If I write about contentment I usually really start to miss Caleb. Do you get the pattern here? Grrrr.

I think I have to be more careful about what I write. Or, I just want to remind everyone that we all have revelations, great thoughts, heart-change moments, but we are all incredibly in need of the Lord. It is a continual journey, and it is not for the faint-of-heart. May God grant the grace to not be discouraged, but rather encouraged with His continual refinement in our lives.

I leave you with some lyrics of a song that encourages me right now.
--------------------------------------------------
Blessed is the one whose sins are overcome; Whom God has sheltered deep within His grace.
Blessed is the one who trusts in God the Son; His steadfast love the sinners hiding place.

Jesus, your blood covers all my sins.
Jesus, your love draws my heart to sing "What a savior, Jesus!"

I will always hide at my Savior's side. I find my refuge in His sovereign care.
When the waters rise God will hear my cries. His steadfast love will hold me safely there.

The Unseen

So I studied with Leah Lapine today at the Augsburg Libary today (since we are in the same program, in different years). At the very end she was packing up and I noticed a "cheat sheet" with algorithms and flow-sheets, and pneumonics, and other study aids she was using for her studying. I looked a little closer and recognized the format - I had typed all of that 1-2 years ago while studying for school! Do not get me wrong here - I had put it on a public Augsburg folder for other people to use and be helped by. I had just COMPLETELY forgotten about all the files I had made available to others.

It was really weird to see other people using your work though. In school, sometimes people are really private with their work and tips/trick sheets in learning. I don't know exactly why. Well, I guess I know why. It's hard to watch others benefit from your hard work in developing and organizing the massive amount of material. It's because we are selfish and we want to promote ourselves and get credit for our own work. We will do anything to be the best and make sure that happens...sort of. However, during PA school God really just put it on my heart to share my work with others to help them do better in order to bring Him glory and practice selflessness and kindness. Don't get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with doing your best and developing a work ethic that honors the Lord as you work unto the Lord. But, sharing really helps kill my fleshly craving to "be the best" and stand above my peers in order to get affirmation or admiration - aka: PRIDE.

So, two years later Ms. Lapine is benefiting from the time God had me put into my education. It just goes to show that sometimes we don't know why we do what God convicts us to do, and often we don't see the benefits. But, tonight, I saw Leah's face light up as she said, "Oh, I love these worksheets; they help me stay organized!" Tonight it's worth it to share and watch others be blessed and less stressed in their experience of graduate school. Sometimes, I do wish it benefited me more (in a completely carnal, earthly successful sort of way!). But, God is teaching me that His ways are not my ways; and if my work helps others learn and bless patients, than that is okay. It's all about dying to "self" :)

Loves of my life!

Amidst all the chaos of life there is one constant thing - these crazy kids just keep on growing! Isaiah, Faith, and Peter "pebo" continue to surprise me with their love, intelligence, cuteness, loud voices, and silliness!

A girl can't always have a man, but the love of a little one can really fill up that "love tank" pretty good too. Here's to being an aunt and sister of the busy Nash family!

Christmas 2008 - 3 little monkeys

Faithy and Auntie Fidder at Grammie's Bday - Feb 2009

Isaiah finding the Easter eggs 2009

Pebo-cito Christmas 2008


Faith blowing bubbles - Easter 2009


Isaiah at Pebo's dedication - 2009


My handsome Peter "Pebo" - Easter 2009


The Nash babies Easter 2009

(Isaiah 4.5 - Peter 10mo - Faith almost 3)

The Diva herself! Easter 2009

She is learning to hug still! Winter 2009

God knows!

I had another interview today with the HCMC East Clinic (#3). This whole interview, job search, graduate, study, figure out life combination can be a little overwhelming - mostly because there are a lot of pieces that need to come together. I was stressin' over this HCMC visit today because rumor had it they would most likely make an offer, and then I would have to decide within the next 1-2 weeks. The problem was that i haven't interviewed at my other sites yet and some personal business is sort of left undone right now. I have just been praying for wisdom for all this decision stuff because I sure don't know what to do sometimes :)

Anyhoo, God was kind. The people said they were interviewing another candidate and wouldn't be making offers for at least 2-3 weeks. Phew! I know that I should be somewhat concerned that there is another candidate, but I'm not. Now God has given me time to finish interviewing a few more places, graduate, and sort some things out before I even get to know if they will make an offer! Yes! He knew I needed that. Even better, I can work at Fat Lorenzo's as long as I need to in the meantime while things get in order. God gently reminded me today that He knows that I don't know what in the heck I am doing. Hopefully, I will remember that in a few days when I start to get anxious again about all these unknowns in life. Someone remind me :)

Oh my poor brain!

My brain is tired, and it is Monday, noon. This is not good. I am trying to review material, take practice tests, and then learn from my mistakes. I think the most energy goes into learning from your mistakes and then memorizing them for the next time. Wait, there might be some great life parallel in that - but I can't think about it since my brain is stuck.

If you would like to pray a prayer for my brain I would advise the following:

"Oh, Lord, grant Kristie an organized and alert brain. Help her to focus on her studies, and be able to retain the information. Help her to not get stuck in the pointless details, even if she loses points on them. Help her to know what really matters, and help her to let go of what doesn't in the end. Help her to know the difference."

It is just amazing to me how the same things in life can "trip you up", so to say. I am a perfectionist, I work hard, I will give my all to something if it is possible, and you will generally get an intense Kristie in something. I think that is a good thing, but as I told my dad yesterday, sometimes our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses. There is a part of me wishes that I could just generally be okay with mediocracy, the good enough, and be able to say "it's not worth it" to somethings. I don't know whether it is just how God made me, incredibly passionate and unable to accept the things that grate against the deepest parts of me, or if there is some giant character flaw in there. I am sure it's a mixture of both because sometimes it just KILLS me to relax a bit (on multiple levels and about multiple topics), but it also just KILLS me sometimes when I stop and wonder if I am taking things too seriously. I suppose it depends on the issue.

All that to say, and it is really not related to the original post, is sometimes I wear myself out. Sometimes I need help to step back and just pray for Holy Spirit eyes in things, even in my studies. Thank goodness we have a sovereign Jesus who sustains us, and who accepts us exactly as we are, no matter how well we score on a test, whether we ever get married, or whether or not we understand ourselves.

Food for One!

My dearly hilarious friend Hannah Brandes just posted a lovely entry about the challenges of wasting food because as single peeps it's hard to eat things fast enough, or at least to plan for one person-sized meals without polluting the planet with extra plastic. So, i thought I would share the few lame attempts I have at this! If anyone has better or easy ideas please comment!!!

1. Keep your bread in the fridge, not on the counter. I go through like 1.5 loaves a month maybe?!

2. When you buy fresh/raw chicken breasts go home and individually freeze them for later use one or two at a time. There is a TON of salt in the 10-pack frozen chicken packages.

3. THIS IS MY MOST FREQUENTLY USED TRICK - When you make a dinner freeze half of it for later, or make a meal and divide it into separate containers and then freeze it!

4. Eggs...hmmmm, buy the 6 pack ones.

5. Veggies, those are really hard, but I think it is better to have them in the house and waste 59 cents on a cucumber than to not have it and NEVER eat veggies. Obviously, carrots are an easy one.

6. Milk, bananas, cheese (!!!!) - My only suggestion is asking your roommate to sort of trade on/off for buying things like that so you can just eat/drink each others and then sort of take turns buying it! That's what my parents and I do with those sort of items. We love cheese so buy a lot of that - never goes to waste!

8. I think the hardest, but most helpful, thing to do is when you shop plan on buying things you plan on eating – AKA: make a menu. You only have to plan a few meals for a week, maybe even one…but that way you will use the food you have and buy the food you need. If you need potatoes, buy individual spuds, and then PLAN on integrating potatoes into two meals in a week. When I make cousous I plan on eating it with like THREE things that week, or just as my snack…and then it doesn’t go bad!

So, it takes some a combination of creativity, willingness to plan ahead a bit, and willingness to just eat lame meals sometimes :)

Rock on single people -at least we aren't being eaten out of house and home. AND, no one is stealing our favorite foods and leftovers :)

Short

I promise I will write a short one next - oops! It seems short in my own brain :)

I just finished a 12-week biblestudy at Bethlehem Baptist called "Seeking Him". The book we used often had inspiring or challenging quotations that would cause my mind to spin for days. As I finished this series on personal revival this last one really impacted me as I looked into my own heart and observed the lives of those around me.

"She who lives with little prayer - she who seldom reads the Word - she who seldom looks up to heaven for a fresh influence from on high - she will be the woman whose heart will become cold and barren." C.H. Spurgeon.

Wow! What a warning Spurgeon give us Christians. What struck me more was the fact that when your heart is cold and barren often times you don't even realize how numb you are to God. You have no affection for Him, you don't realize you are missing Him, and it doesn't even cross your mind to care. People, this is TRUE - I have lived it!

It is no wonder that people live less than the dynamic, Holy-Spirit filled, and fruitful life God intended us to live (myself included here!). There is no "penalty" for living a dry Christian life and it may be rather convenient for your/my lifestyle. But, what gets me is that if in heaven the whole purpose is to be completely satisfied in Christ and full of His love and glory, then if you don't want that on earth NOW, why do you think you will want it later in heaven? I don't know if I am saying it right, but it just struck me that if the benefits of knowing Christ are not your chief goal while walking on Earth then why would you want to be in heaven when that's what we will be doing for all eternity? Is salvation really just a ticket?

Now, now, I realize that we have other goals in life, relational things, responsibilities, other happiness, etc., and there are plenty of days when I am NOT satisfied with Christ alone. But, I do know in my heart that the goal is to desire and experience as much of Christ now while on earth. I have to ask myself, "Kristie, why would you not seek Him, be in His Word, keep your mind on heavenly things, and pray, pray, pray if He is truly the most blessed thing for you? Do you know how close your heart comes from becoming cold and barren? Do you even realize it?"

Do you realize it?

Personally, I realize it most when I look back at the subtle things: my conscience is dulled against unholy living, or in skipping morning or evening devos to get sleep, worrying instead of praying, looking for earthly things to satisfy my restlessness, etc. Maybe it is not even being bothered if you perpetually skip church on sunday to sleep in, or you find yourself annoyed by your fired-up christian friends, or realizing you haven't had alone time with Jesus in over a week or month, maybe your attitude starts to sour or your language becomes harsh or vulgar, or maybe you skip your accountability time with others or make other priorities. I don't know.

I guess I just pray for a soft heart towards the Lord because I probably won't even realize when it is becoming a little too independent and my conscience is dulled. I pray for His grace to protect me from drifting towards worldliness. It is so amazing, really, that ultimately all we have to really do is ask Him to help us and for Him to give us a desire to have a warm heart full of Him. Thank goodness we have a Shepard to keep us in the fold, and that He promises that if we seek Him with all our hearts we will find Him.

Change is in the air

I haven't written in quite awhile. This is mostly because I had a viral sinus issue for 2 weeks, I finished up my last rotation ever last week, and since Friday night I have been in North Carolina visiting one of my best friends (and her husband). It has been quite busy. I have been studying like a crazy person for the past 6 weeks, and now I have moved on to Q&A books for review. I made a schedule for what I am supposed to study everyday from now until April 29th - which is my last Augsburg exam. I have yet to sign up for my National Board examination. First things first: graduate.

I have applied to numerous jobs but really only have two opportunities right now. One is a mostly Spanish-speaking job, and one is a little more relaxed in an endocrinology clinic. I really don't know what to do, for lots of reasons. There are hardly any, if not any, family practice jobs in the actual Twin Cities....so it's hard to pass up an opportunity. Oh, what a faith walk....do you wait for what you want, or do you take the job that is there? Lots of prayer, people, lots of prayer.

So, I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going.

Well, that's not true.

I am living each day doing what God has put in front of me to do. I study, I learn, I finish strong. But, I don't know what is ahead. Which, again according to Auntie Myrna, is the plight of all mankind. I guess what I "mean" by that is there are a lot of inevitable changes without foreseen outcomes. I am waiting for the pieces to fall into place. I can just feel the season of change inside of me though. There is a sense of adventure, wondering, wandering, and a lot of prayer. But, Lord, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I in the times of fear and anxiety. The temptation to sinfully worry, obsessive over, and feel anxious is right at the door. In these situations we have to have our guard up, right? We need to have the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God, drawn and ready to attack/kill the temptations of the evil one. We have to abstain from what is evil and cling to what is good. We have to meditate on the Law, and His promises, and confess our wandering hearts. We take up our Shield of Faith and block the fiery darts of the evil one. We hide in the shelter of His wings. We take it seriously, we take sin seriously, we take God's Word seriously. To the outside world, and sadly probably even moreso to the larger Christian community, this will look like you are a fanatical/radical Christian. The radical ones are the Faithful who Fight! So, I pray God would grant me the grace to faithfully fight, that I may become more and more conformed to His image, covered in His peace, and devoted to His Word.

Perfect Peace

This weekend my mind was not in perfect peace...in fact, I had to email multiple people to pray my mind would get into "perfect peace" because I could sense myself drifting into quite the opposite. So, I spent the last couple of days trying to recall that one verse about Peace, and Keeping it, and something about Trust, and the Mind....grrrr, "what was that verse?" I kept thinking.

I also kept thinking about the book Pilgrim's Progress and how Christian has to endure many trials and ordeals. Often times his mind tempts him to doubt, to fear, and to stray. It was always just in the right moment that the Owner of Celestial City rescues Him or delivers Him, or sends someone to help Him. In one situation Christian is locked in the castle of Doubting Castle where Giant Despair beats him every night. Christian is on the verge of losing all hope when he finally looks down at the scroll he has been carrying (on which is written His name in book of Life) since he found the Cross, and he notices a Key stuck in the wax seal. On the key is engraved the word Promise. Christian uses the key to open the doors of the castle and he finally escapes the castle at the last moment! It is very exciting, especially when you read the children's version like I am and there are lots of pictures!

Stick with me here....there is a point.

So, it just struck me that God's promises are the Key to our escape from doubt, fear, anxiety, despair, anger, etc. All these things are the opposite of Perfect Peace. God's promises are in His Word and we are to meditate on them. We are to fix our thoughts on them and memorize them. They are the keys that unlock us from Doubting Castle.

So tying things together here...this last weekend I was not remembering, meditating, or memorizing the Promises of God in His Word. I was not fixed on them. I was not steadfast. So, the Lord brought to mind the random words of a verse heard long, long ago. Last night I found it in my bible I have had since 2nd Grade at St. Peter's Lutheran (it's my favorite - all the pages are coming out).

Isaiah 26:3 - (NIV version is the easiest to memorize!)

"You will keep in Perfect Peace him whose mind is steadfast,

because he trusts in you."

Tribute to Wilmar, Minnesota

Nearly one year agO I left to spend 6-weeks in Wilmar, MN doing my ER rotation. I just go in contact with the head-cheese ER doctor there and they are thinking of hiring PA's to cover some of the shifts. That would be great!

For some reason Wilmar holds a special place in my heart....

Perhaps it was the most amazing coffee shop called LuLu Beans (located inside a house),

or the windy wind, or the vast expanse of rolling green hills and lakes.

Perhaps it was the great house I stayed at (thanks Rachel Green!!) with the great view (see below and doggie), or the great nurses and MD's in the ER.

There was a beautiful little yellow house I wanted me or Caleb to buy on Wilmar Lake itself, but that obviously wouldn't have worked.

I think more than anything it was the daily peace and quiet from not having to hustle and bustle through life. I worked, slept, ate, attempted to run, wrote a lot of emails, read, and did devotions. That's about it. There were no committments, no obligations (except the long ER hours!), and I could just calmly drive the 3 miles to work on country roads that wrapped around lakes. It was at times lonely, and yet it wasn't. So, I attach some photos to show you the wonders of Wilmar and God's beautiful creation in all it's simplicity.

And my personal favorite...