This past winter I went through a bible-study that focused on personal revival. One of the first verses we memorized was Hosea 10:12 (or 12:10 - shoot!). Anyhoo, it says, "Break up your fallow ground for it is time to seek the Lord until He rains His righteousness on you." Now, let me tell you, there has been some serious ground-tilling/fallowing done over the past months. God pretty much stopped me in my tracks, gave me a good shaking, and maybe now is setting my feet down on the ground again. Sort of like, "There you go, much better, just had to get some wrinkles out." So good....but OUCH!
Hopefully I am not premature in saying this, but I think that God is beginning to "rain down" a little. I am almost afraid to say that outloud.
I don't know exactly what the "rain of His righteousness" necessarily is to its full extent, but I am tasting just a bit of it. Well I think I am. God has finally brought to a close this long season of PA school. He has brought the Springtime. He brought graduation. He has been growing in me strength and dignity, grace and patience, clarity of thought and direction for life. He has helped purify my will and my desires. To a greater extent than before He has quieted my soul before Him - hey, now that's what I call progress!
I am still full of emotion, fighting the faith battle, learning to be content in Him, letting Him alone saitsfy my heart, and awaiting the settling of the dust. And, you know what, however it settles, I am A-okay with that. I am ready to start-over, or at least start something!
I think Chuck Swindoll said it just right this morning on Insight for Living:
"To start over, you have to know where you are. To get somewhere else, it's necessary to know where you're presently standing. That's true in a department store or a big church, on a freeway or a college campus . . . or in life, for that matter. Very, very seldom does anybody "just happen" to end up on the right road. The process involved in redirecting our lives is often painful, slow, and even confusing. Occasionally, it seems unbearable.
...here enter a long thought on Jonah's transformation....
Changing directions requires knowing where you are. It necessitates taking time to honestly admit your present condition. It means facing the music, standing alone inside the fish and coming to terms with those things that need attention, fishing in the seaweed for a match. Before you find your way out, you must determine where you are. Exactly. Once that is accomplished, you're ready to start over."
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