Life Updates

It can finally be said: I have my first job as a Physician Assistant! My MIA blog status reflects the busyness of thoughts, interviews, negotiating, worrying (yes, I still struggle with worrying), praying, shadowing, talking with recruiters, talking with family, talking with other PAs, and talking with a few friends. It just turned into an all-consuming process. I couldn't analyze well enough; I couldn't account for all possible future plans well enough. I had to drag along offers until other ones were more solidified; I had to negotiate pay scales while shadowing at other clinics to really see if I would like it there. It was crazy- I probably ran 100 miles in my head. There were three job offers on the table:

1. An inner-city county clinic. 32 patient contact hours a week. wants me to work at least one week night or a saturday morning each week. schedule changes every 4 weeks. inner-city patients. family practice + urgent care (!). close to home. Pay is fair. mentored by lots of brilliant doctors. more chaotic but rewarding.
2. Outer-ring suburb private practice clinic. 36 patient contact hours + 1/2 day for adminstrative time (!). stable working schedule. working poor and middle class patients. probably not a diverse patient population, but lots of older patients with complex conditions. 25 minute drive. Pay is better with additional earning potential. small town clinic feel. great staff. calm environment
3. Minneapolis private practice. 40 patient contact hours. no admin time. stable schedule. no nights/weekends. 7 minutes from home. diverse patient population. pay is just OK but would be working within my own community.

Things culminated Thursday night while driving to talk one-on-one with a local clinic about the offer they were proposing. I just couldn't decide which pros were better than other pros and which cons were worse than other cons. The last complicating factor was that my ex-boyfriend and I had been pursuing conversations about getting back together, and that has been a lot of time. All-of-a-sudden I am trying to think about making job decisions based off that fact that we might even get married and what sort of job/location/hours/environment would be best for that. But, while driving the Lord just broke through and reminded me of my need for Him in all this. I mean, I had been praying about things, but probably moreso "thinking" rather than praying about them. I just prayed outloud in the car while driving on 494, "Lord, I need you. I SO need you. I cannot do this. I DON'T know how to make this decision. I don't know the future. I want to honor you, be consumed by you, live for you, worship you, trust you above all things. I confess my self-sufficiency and independence and pride trying to make this decision without more inquiry of your will. Thank you for your grace and forgiveness!"


After that, I met with the doctor, drove home, and decided to take a different job. The Lord just made it simple, "Kristie, you need a calm emvironement to work in. You need somewhere where it is easy to go to work and be at work because you have a lot of learning to do and potential changes coming up in your life this year. Trust me."

So, I chose option #2. It is calmer. I think the doctors will be good mentors. God will help me use the drive to meet Him in some way or I can catch up with a friend. I don't know what the future holds, but God does. We will give it a try. We walk by Faith, not by Sight.