I just finished a 12-week biblestudy at Bethlehem Baptist called "Seeking Him". The book we used often had inspiring or challenging quotations that would cause my mind to spin for days. As I finished this series on personal revival this last one really impacted me as I looked into my own heart and observed the lives of those around me.

"She who lives with little prayer - she who seldom reads the Word - she who seldom looks up to heaven for a fresh influence from on high - she will be the woman whose heart will become cold and barren." C.H. Spurgeon.

Wow! What a warning Spurgeon give us Christians. What struck me more was the fact that when your heart is cold and barren often times you don't even realize how numb you are to God. You have no affection for Him, you don't realize you are missing Him, and it doesn't even cross your mind to care. People, this is TRUE - I have lived it!

It is no wonder that people live less than the dynamic, Holy-Spirit filled, and fruitful life God intended us to live (myself included here!). There is no "penalty" for living a dry Christian life and it may be rather convenient for your/my lifestyle. But, what gets me is that if in heaven the whole purpose is to be completely satisfied in Christ and full of His love and glory, then if you don't want that on earth NOW, why do you think you will want it later in heaven? I don't know if I am saying it right, but it just struck me that if the benefits of knowing Christ are not your chief goal while walking on Earth then why would you want to be in heaven when that's what we will be doing for all eternity? Is salvation really just a ticket?

Now, now, I realize that we have other goals in life, relational things, responsibilities, other happiness, etc., and there are plenty of days when I am NOT satisfied with Christ alone. But, I do know in my heart that the goal is to desire and experience as much of Christ now while on earth. I have to ask myself, "Kristie, why would you not seek Him, be in His Word, keep your mind on heavenly things, and pray, pray, pray if He is truly the most blessed thing for you? Do you know how close your heart comes from becoming cold and barren? Do you even realize it?"

Do you realize it?

Personally, I realize it most when I look back at the subtle things: my conscience is dulled against unholy living, or in skipping morning or evening devos to get sleep, worrying instead of praying, looking for earthly things to satisfy my restlessness, etc. Maybe it is not even being bothered if you perpetually skip church on sunday to sleep in, or you find yourself annoyed by your fired-up christian friends, or realizing you haven't had alone time with Jesus in over a week or month, maybe your attitude starts to sour or your language becomes harsh or vulgar, or maybe you skip your accountability time with others or make other priorities. I don't know.

I guess I just pray for a soft heart towards the Lord because I probably won't even realize when it is becoming a little too independent and my conscience is dulled. I pray for His grace to protect me from drifting towards worldliness. It is so amazing, really, that ultimately all we have to really do is ask Him to help us and for Him to give us a desire to have a warm heart full of Him. Thank goodness we have a Shepard to keep us in the fold, and that He promises that if we seek Him with all our hearts we will find Him.