distractions

Since i have been off school i have noticed I am more distracted or delayed in getting to my morning devotions. It's like the lack of schedule makes it easy to delay, or my decreased awareness of my need, or something. Whatever it is I don't like it. I want to hunger to be with the Lord and be eager to make it the first thing of the day. Doing this just gets things off to a good start!

So this morning, and just plain recently, the distraction was awaiting a job offer (counter-offer) to come over email or phone. I was trying to read, but I kept thinking about things. It might be because I am also reading jeremiah, which is a challenging book to read, and not super exciting or understandable. Nevertheless, the job offer did come through, and it was good. So, now I have to decide if I want to stick with this or risk waiting for HCMC to get back to me on an interview I had on Friday. They will let me know more by Friday, but I have to then delay the North St. Paul one until then. Oh goodness. It's hard to decide sometimes.

Anyhoo, that's what is distracting me these days.

Lord, help my mind to be wrapped up in you. Help my heart to trust you for all things, knowing that your sovereign will shall prevail. Help me to not covet earthly treasures and paying off my loans more than serving where you want me to serve. Help me to focus and be focused by your spirit. Help me to be productive in my time off and use it for your glory! Amen.

Parenting

Tonight I babysat for one of my most favorite families: the Cottrells! I love babysitting for their 4 kiddos because I have been with them for almost 4 years at our church and it is absolutely a joy to watch them grow up. Keaton wasn't even a sparkle in his parents eyes when I first met them, and now he is 2/nearly 2?!

Anyhoo, babysitting always reminds me of much I have to learn about parenting. How do you get a tired 4 yr old to eat their dinner? Do you treat them like their older siblings or how much grace do you extend? If they don't have a regenerate heart aka: aren't saved, then can I expect them to really be motivated by "obedience, which pleases God"? When are you tough, when are you compassionate and gracious, when do you give in, when do you discipline? How much attention do you give one child while there are 3 others there? When do you know if their tummy hearts or they are tired or crabby or just plain stubborn?

But, in spite of this scary reminder of my total ineptness at multi-child parenting, I am also reminded of how great it is to be with kids! We practiced rollerblading, and sharing our toys, and obeying the first time when asked, and using good manners, and talking kindly with one another. We also talked about how boys are "weird", but not totally weird because they are "helpful". We talked about how great it is to be a girl, in which one child pointed out girls got the plus of getting to have babies. They talked about all the things guys do to help us, including in full biblical style the words, "they get to lead us"...after which I reminded them that it is also their role to "follow"...it takes two to tango folks!

The night was not complete without a walk to the park up and down a number of hills (2 girls rollerblading, one little one pushing her babydoll in her stroller, and one kiddo in the stroller himself), fighting over who got to wear my rollerblading wrist guards and deciding who would push the button for the garage door opener, a duet/solo piano recital, coloring time, ice cream, song-singing-partial-movie-watching, and story-reading just as mom/dad were coming in the door. Ooops, they were 20 minutes late for bed! The night was topped off with a "speech" from the oldest daughter who told me in her speech she loved me, and then came over afterwards and said, "I really meant it; i love you." I even got some homemade artwork for my bedroom to prove it. Ahhh, the good life. I can't think of another way I would have wanted to spend my Friday night.

The Word

One thing God has done in my heart over the last few months is really really helped me to get in God's Word regularily. Albeit, some of the times it is because I am desperatly searching for some answer in life or solace amidst heartache. Nevertheless, it gets me in His presence and the Holy Spirit helps illuminate something to my mind and heart. You can probably tell when there is something more pressing because I write a long diatribe about something. But honestly folks, it is because I feel COMPELLED to write something about Him or some lesson. I can't stop myself sometimes. I probably get a little smothering in those times, but that's what comes with a passionate person :)

One of the reasons I am in the Word is because I NEED it so much. I need it's redirecting truths. I need the hope of its promises. I need the reminders of grace and the gospel. I need something to be excited about. I need God to satisfy my deepest parts...and it really only comes from the Word. I am so thankful that God foresaw all this when He wrote the Word and breathed His Holy Spirit into it. I am thankful for my need for it. I am so inept at understanding it at times, or I totally miss apply it at times too, and there are days I don't feel like writing a blog-entry because of it.

I just want to encourage you to return to your first love. Pray for desire to be in the Word and for a sense of awareness of your need for it...all that is just a gift from Him that He gives us. We don't manufacture desire to be with Him. I pray He gives that desire multiple times in the day; I pray that for myself mostly. I am so quick to be satisfied with other things and people, but I soon remember that they are only broken cisterns. We need the Living Water to sustain us ~ especially all you at home moms!!!! I don't know how you do it?! AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kristie A. Kunnari, PA-C

I would just like to say: I PASSED MY BOARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only did I pass them, but I got the exact score I get on all my exams; it was good!

I am so thankful, thankful, thankful to jesus for carrying me through this crazy journey. I am so thankful to my amazing family (extended family, church family) for all their support and care throught out this incredible journey. It is SO nice to see the resolution of something that has stretched me beyond belief. Believe me, there were many days when I thought I would not make it, but God's loving heart and strong arm have done it all...Oh man, it is well with my soul!

Matthew Eric Kunnari

By the way, I would just like to say I have the coolest brother ever, and if he lived closer that would be great! Love you matt! Have fun in Paris without me ;) We need an Anodyne-date soon.

All done, for real!

Well, I took my test on Tuesday. It took me longer than I expected, and it didn't feel exceptionally great going through it, BUT, it is done. As I finished up the last block of 60 questions I remember thinking, "well, this is it. What is done is already done." I then answered the last one and just hit the SUBMIT button. Poof! Testing is done! I won't find out the results for a couple of weeks, which is fine since it is nice to sort of put it past you for awhile.

The rest of the day was a little fuzzy. I talked to a few friends, and my family, but otherwise I was fairly mellow. It took me the entire rest of the day to unwind and get more excited about the whole thing. But, God is gracious, and I ended up having a nice night with my parents watching mystery shows on TV and eating frozen pizza - the best food ever! I was exhausted when i finally went to bed around 10:30pm.

This morning I went to shadow at a clinic I am considering for employment. It was a good experience. THe best thing though was that when I got there they had already ordered a white coat for me with my full name and title embroidered on it. It was awesome! All that just for a job candidate! What impressed me the most is that they had it done in one day when we had only decided I would stop by this past Monday. Kuddos Kuddos to them :)

So, we wait, and wait, and hem & haw. Then we decide. Then we live with our decisions until the Lord brings life to a crossing again. Faithful is He who calls you and faithful is He who will come it to pass.

pray today

well, my last test is tomorrow/today aka: TUESDAY from 8am-2pm. Pray for smarts please and focus and clarity.

Thanks!
Kristie

Hit the Re-set button!

This past winter I went through a bible-study that focused on personal revival. One of the first verses we memorized was Hosea 10:12 (or 12:10 - shoot!). Anyhoo, it says, "Break up your fallow ground for it is time to seek the Lord until He rains His righteousness on you." Now, let me tell you, there has been some serious ground-tilling/fallowing done over the past months. God pretty much stopped me in my tracks, gave me a good shaking, and maybe now is setting my feet down on the ground again. Sort of like, "There you go, much better, just had to get some wrinkles out." So good....but OUCH!

Hopefully I am not premature in saying this, but I think that God is beginning to "rain down" a little. I am almost afraid to say that outloud.

I don't know exactly what the "rain of His righteousness" necessarily is to its full extent, but I am tasting just a bit of it. Well I think I am. God has finally brought to a close this long season of PA school. He has brought the Springtime. He brought graduation. He has been growing in me strength and dignity, grace and patience, clarity of thought and direction for life. He has helped purify my will and my desires. To a greater extent than before He has quieted my soul before Him - hey, now that's what I call progress!

I am still full of emotion, fighting the faith battle, learning to be content in Him, letting Him alone saitsfy my heart, and awaiting the settling of the dust. And, you know what, however it settles, I am A-okay with that. I am ready to start-over, or at least start something!

I think Chuck Swindoll said it just right this morning on Insight for Living:

"To start over, you have to know where you are. To get somewhere else, it's necessary to know where you're presently standing. That's true in a department store or a big church, on a freeway or a college campus . . . or in life, for that matter. Very, very seldom does anybody "just happen" to end up on the right road. The process involved in redirecting our lives is often painful, slow, and even confusing. Occasionally, it seems unbearable.

...here enter a long thought on Jonah's transformation....

Changing directions requires knowing where you are. It necessitates taking time to honestly admit your present condition. It means facing the music, standing alone inside the fish and coming to terms with those things that need attention, fishing in the seaweed for a match. Before you find your way out, you must determine where you are. Exactly. Once that is accomplished, you're ready to start over."

Pictures - lots of them!

I have been trying to post pictures on this thing for two days, but my parents' internet connection is just not cutting it. So hopefully these will post now.

Please read the entry below for the reflections :)

Graduation

I finally graduated this past Saturday May 2nd. It was a beautiful, beautiful day with lots of rejoicing and cheers from students, professors, and family! My wonderful god-mothers were both there: Auntiy Myrna and Auntie Di. Thank goodness for that Lutheran baptism with the assignment of godparents - I would be lost :)

I was very very thankful, and I still am. I must say that half the reason I didn't write more excitedly was probably because I was so ready to move on. So, nevertheless, I was very, very, thankful. A LOT of people have been praying me through this adventure for the past 3 years, and honestly, these last 5 months have been by far the most difficult for me personally. It is truly truly God's grace that got me through this last stretch, and I feel so very blessed to have been carried on His wings. I am so very ready for the "next thing" although I have not a clue what that will entail besides a job at some point and somehow and in some context moving out. I still CANNOT believe this chapter has ended and "poof!" a new one is beginning. Only the Lord knows what is next!

Of the many things I have learned the top ones that stand out are:
- take life, and any particular challenge, one day at a time (maybe two!)
- "wherever you are, be fully there" - Jim Elliot
- Commit your ways to the lord and HE WILL give you the desire of your heart - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, but in ALL YOUR WAYS acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths
- His grace is sufficient
- There is nothing like a thankfulness journal to help change your attitude
- If you think you can't get through something, just look to Jesus, for what He ordains, He sustains.
- Faithful is He who calls you
- God will use anything and everything to bring you to your knees before His cross.
- Sometimes you just have to "Trust the process"
- The Word is your very life
- Friends are very necessary in life